Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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