Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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