I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
