are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
