..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
