your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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