that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
