I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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