If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
