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holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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