i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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