what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
