Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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