I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
