i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All I want is dick and wine.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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