Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
