o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
