Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize