Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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