My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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