Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
