Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
