sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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