Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
