There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
