wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize