i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
