you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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