I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Panties = found
Randomize
