I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
