If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize