Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
