Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
