nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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