She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
