I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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