as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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