Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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