how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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