we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
