I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
