what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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