oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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