Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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