Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
