I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
