I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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