so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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