I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize