u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
