Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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