Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize