i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
