There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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