But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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