it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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