Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
