just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
