The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
